a demon in my view

In the introduction of A.W. Tozer's /In Pursuit of God/, Samuel Zwemer marvels at Tozer's ability to balance authorship with ministry in the city of Chicago. He even includes a poem about all the evils of the city--greed and demons and temptations at every corner, human wretchedness, ect.

I agree with Zwemer that it is difficult to balance writing with the business of one's life. Self-discipline is hard. However, I would argue that--if you're writing about the Christian life--a place surrounded with temptations and wretchedness and fear is the perfect place to be. These are demons we must all face, and an honest examination of the Christian life must deal with these topics in some form or another. What do we do with them--this is one of the Big Questions of the Christian faith. So if you're going to write a book about searching for God, where better to do it than in a place where you'll be surrounded by these issues? Where you cannot ignore, deny, run away, or forget?

I think a lot of people try to excuse some of the "petty" sins, like meanness, impatience, or selfishness, with the fact that they live in a culture or place where there are an awful lot of people doing the same thing. I know I certainly do. The thing is, though, that if your town is known for its mean streak, it's for you to change it--not to simply fall in line. Stand out! Be better!
Don't think about everything you're doing wrong--think about the ways you can serve God and others. As my mother has been busily writing in graduation cards, with Him there are no regrets.
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In other news: in the middle of moving to the South! So excited for all the new experiences, people, places! God has been very good.
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Pax

oh the places you'll go

I have been extraordinarily blessed to have the chance to do some traveling before I dive into the timesuck that is research. Today, I was wandering around the city of San Francisco with two lovely friends. We found many delightful things, like a gallery devoted to Dr. Seuss art, an open air fruit market that provided chocolate for dipping, and an old man playing the erhu. Completely worth the sore calves and sunburn.

Pax
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moving day

About a week and a half until I start the drive to the town of my graduate school. Oh heavens, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself--I want to start NOW!

But it is time to rest, visit friends and family, and plan. (Lots of planning, mostly because I've been putting it off until now.)

Well. Time to go.
Life is calling!

Pax
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ricky ticky tavi

Unfortunately, this post has nothing to the inestimable mongoose referenced in the title. It does, however, have to do with a serendipitous occurrence involving the gorgeous Ricky Martin.

My lovely older sister and I had been lucky enough to score some cheap tickets to Once for tonight, our last night in the big city. After going (it was marvelous), we were browsing in one of the souvenir stores down the street when we realized a crowd had gathered outside. Moving outside to see what the fuss was about, we learned that Ricky Martin (currently starring in Evita) was about to leave the building, hence the congregation of gay men and older women.

Well.

I may not have a picture of him on the wall, but it was my first chance at a real celebrity sighting, and I'll be damned if I wasn't going to take it.

I wriggled my way through the crowd as only a skinny girl can, and thus was only a couple people back from the front when he made his entrance. The crowd's response was truly impressive--perfectly reasonable girls screaming "Ricky! He HAS to come over here! I'll just DIE!" at the top of their lungs. Of course, I was practically spooning some poor gay boy in an attempt to see the guy at this point, so I suppose I don't hold the moral high ground. Anyways, he was kind enough to stop and sign some playbills, and when he looked in my direction...

Wow.

I suddenly understood the screams, the thunder and fury of it all, even if only for a moment. For that moment, I would have been willing to swear on my mother's grave that he'd been smiling at ME. (And, of course, ignoring the twink in front of me. Because that's what gay men do, in the mythical land of my imagination.)

Ricky Martin is an devastatingly good-looking man.

I know, I know, you have to be cute to get into the business, and of course I'd seen lovely pictures of him before, but everyone knows those are photoshopped, and who hasn't been disappointed by the difference between the celebrity behind the lens and in real life*? I'd expected to be disappointed, to walk away thinking "well, that was nice, but he's a bit past his prime."

Well. Well well well.
I walk away with renewed hope for the male half of the human race. Even if I don't end up with a guy half that good-looking, it's nice to be reminded what that feels like.
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Pax
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*YouTube totally counts.

fricking youngsters

Was wandering around the Frick collection when I uncovered this young couple beneath a J.M.W. Turner. Too cute.

childhood's end

In my chemistry department, there is a tradition of signing a cloth bear upon completion of physical chemistry.

Well. The bear has been signed

And thus ends my undergraduate career. This is my coming of age.

In the past ten years or so, there have been a lot of movies and stories about twenty-somethings or thirty-somethings that just haven't gotten their act together yet. They're usually considered romantic comedies of some sort...but there might be a better classification: they're coming of age stories.

Coming of age stories are what you get when the safety nets are taken away, when you have to be proactive with your own life. This step is being pushed further and further back, so we're coming of age later and later. I wonder when the pendulum will reach its height and begin swinging the other way...

Pax
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i want to become a writer who loves people

Don't you just love the headband?

I love coming-of-age shoujo manga from the 90s, like this one, or this one.They're much like young adult and kids lit from the seventies, full of people figuring out what's really, truly important. What is necessary to live honest, full lives.

"I want to become a writer who loves people." (from here)
This is a one-sentence summary of my ambitions. The character has just decided to embrace her life and love, and so is in the full flush of loving, but it's still a statement to internalize. Maybe "I want to become a scientist who loves people" doesn't have the same ring to it, but that should still summarize my aspirations.

How can I use science to express my love for people, for God?
How can I express love in every facet of my life?

These are the questions of my coming of age.

How can I love more fully?
.....

Pax


Song of the week